We got the funk.

Earlier this week, I was in a major funk. I found myself feasting on junk, falling out of love with healthy/whole foods and feeling completely indifferent toward exercise. I just didn't care.

What brought this phase on? I suppose underlying work & financial stress is partially to blame. But I think the bigger reason was some good ol' body hatred. Last week, I noticed more clothing items not fitting. And of course, my immediate reaction was, "I have failed."

Obviously I haven't failed in the general sense of things, but I'm still failing to love myself and my body, at any size, on a regular basis. Some weeks are easier than others. Some weeks I feel "pleased" with myself because I look slimmer than normal and/or because I've kept up with workouts and healthy eating. But it's still pretty shallow at that point; even if I say "I love myself [right now]!", I know it's not genuine because the thought is only temporary. It's never long before I start dissin' my looks and size.

Oh, healthy body image and self love. We'll be BFFs someday, once I break the habit of criticizing myself in detail and mentally kicking myself to the curb for no good reason.

Anywho. I didn't intend for this post to be a downer, but I did need to capture some of these thoughts instead of beating them down with a shovel, as if they were zombies. Dang- now I want to watch the "Thriller" video, haha.

SO, said funk ran up through Wednesday. Yesterday, I knew I needed to get a grip. I needed some fresh foods. I needed to re-kindle my love of veggies. I went shopping, found lots of goodies, got home and started cookin'.

Into the pan went: black beans, mushrooms & zucchini:



Added some cumin, salt, pepper, garlic & onion powder (forgot to add real chopped onion) and some cilantro.

At the store, I picked up something new to try:



When I see "New Mexico Style" and "Green Chile" on the same label, I gotta give it a shot. I added about 1/4 cup to the beans/veggies. While that simmered, I got a salad started:



Romaine, tomatoes, cheddar. I also grilled some corn tortillas (can you see where I'm going with this?):



Few steps later, I had myself a black bean taco salad:



Topped with guac and sour cream.



AHHH! This salad was so dope. And the chile sauce is great- lots of heat, but the flavor of the chiles still comes through. This dish did indeed remind me of the awesomeness that is healthy food.

I avoided the gym all week, but finally went this morning for a quick 30 minute session. Twenty minutes/2 miles of speed intervals on the treadmill and 10 minutes of intervals on the stair master. I didn't feel like working out for very long, so I knew I needed to put on my Big Girl Pants and kick up the intensity. It was tough, but man, I felt amazing afterward (still do!).

Came home, showered, prepped my lunch and then made one of the best Green Monster smoothies I've made to date. I haven't had one in over a month, so I'm glad it turned out so good. In the mix:

• 1/2 cup almond milk
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/2 frozen banana
• 1 scoop Designer Whey Chocolate Deluxe protein powder
• 1 scoop Amazing Grass Chocolate Superfood
• 1 tbsp peanut butter
• 2 huge handfuls fresh spinach

Chocolate peanut buttery goodness! And still holding me over. Love that stuff.

So boys and girls, it would appear that I no longer have the funk (sorry, Parliament). Glad I snapped out of it when I did; a) it's Friday, b) I'm going to New Mexico this weekend for family fun, amazing homemade New Mexican food and hopefully a trip to Trader Joe's and c) I re-discovered one of my all-time favorite songs by one of my all-time favorite bands:



Ah, the feeling of being a 14 year old anglophile, full of angst.

Lastly, I hope to have new book and DVD reviews within the next 1-2 weeks, so stay tuned. And of course, enjoy the weekend!

Another week down.

A check-in post, of sorts. Nothing too exciting to report these days. Unless my new Green Monster addiction counts as exciting. I've been whippin' these babies up every morning before heading to work. My mix of choice:

- 3/4 cup almond milk (I reserve the remaining 1/4 cup for coffee)
- 1/2 frozen banana
- 4 or 5 strawberries
- 1 scoop Chocolate Green Superfood
- 2 whoppin' handfuls (or more) of fresh spinach

I started out using just the plain Superfood powder, but the chocolate flavored one took the taste to a whole new level of awesomeness (bananas and chocolate? Hellooo?!). I've also tried adding blueberries, peaches and/or chia seeds and they've all turned out great. I can't wait until my friggin' PB2 shipment finally gets delivered (it's been backordered since early February!) so I can start experimenting with some PB-flavored goodness. I suppose I can use the regular PB I have now, but I think the powdered version would just mix a lot better.

I wasn't a huge smoothie person before (mostly because I was too lazy to use/clean the blender), but these babies taste so good and just leave me feeling so great that I can't stop making them! I'm getting a good chunk of veggies, fruit & calcium all at once. And because they turn out sweet and creamy, it's like having a milkshake in the morning. Plus, it's the perfect vehicle for the crapload of Superfood powder I bought a couple of months back. Love them so much!

Fitness

In fitness news, things have been chuggin' along, but this week was a struggle at times, thanks to SMLT (Stupid Monthly Lady Time). Yesterday was probably my most bloated and miserable day all week, and of course it had to be the day we learned new stuff at Zumba. I just couldn't get into it at all because all I could think about was how miserable and fat I was feeling. I almost left at a couple of different points, but I was determined to see the new moves. I know exercise is supposed to help, but last night? Not so much.

I ran 3.5 miles this morning and feel a little better. Trying to get psyched for the 5k tomorrow, but the weather is supposed to be cold and rainy. Great. Cold I can handle (sorta), but rain? Buh. I have zero rain/waterproof gear, so it'll be interesting. I don't necessarily want it to get canceled either because I've been working pretty hard this week to keep my endurance and speed up, despite feeling like a hot, bloated, crampy mess most of the time. Whatevs.

I suppose that's all for now. I'll post some follow up notes about the 5k tomorrow. Happy weekend!