Monday, November 23, 2009

Can't I just sleep through this week?

Just a quick run-down:

-Didn't do a weigh-in post last Friday because, gasp, I gained. I let Doug's birthday turn into a birthday celebration weekend. So essentially, I took someone else's birthday, not even my own (a single day, I might add) and used it as an excuse to binge 3 days in a row. I've moved on since then, thankfully.

-Getting better at forgiving myself when I slip up. But it would be nice not to slip-up in the first place. Or at least not as often as I have been lately.

I have to be blunt: Weight-loss maintenance, for me, sucks ass. I've been having a hard time for weeks now. And you know why? Because I'm a hypocrite. I've blogged and told people in person that the key to losing weight and keeping it off is to make a lifestyle change (with regards to your eating habits) and that you can have good food in moderation and blah, blah, blah.

Well, I'm a hypocrite because despite my weight loss, I still haven't let go of that "all or nothing" mentality. Perhaps over a decade of yo-yo dieting is to blame, but I'll be damned if I can practice what I preach these days. Sure, in the past, I have practiced moderation (LOADS of times!) and made it home from a party or a wedding or a holiday dinner without having totally pigged out, still enjoyed myself and actually proud of my food/drink choices.

Lately (well, probably the past few months, really), I've lost that ability to moderate. It really has just been binge, workout more, eat clean, rinse, repeat. "They" say it's better to lose weight at a slower pace because you're more likely to keep it off. It took me 2.5 years to lose 90 pounds. So, in theory, I should be golden, right? Well, I also spent 2.5 years in "must lose weight!" mode, so to tell myself to stop losing and maintain and just continue to keep things healthy... Well... it's just proving to be a challenge.

I know I can't expect to make the maintenance phase my bitch immediately, so I'll cut myself some slack. But it's still tough. Right now, I'm stuck between not trying to lose, but trying not to gain. And trying to find that particular point of balance is just plain hard.

-I need to stop weighing myself everyday. I was able to justify it before, but I think that's one habit that needs to stop pronto, especially if I expect to succeed in maintenance.

-I really am done with all of the posts/articles out there FREAKING OUT over Thanksgiving dinner. All of the healthy alternative recipes for stuffing and pumpkin pie; all of the "stay slim!" strategies to practice before/after the meal... My god. It's one meal. One day. I've managed to lose over Thanksgiving in the past while still getting my pig-out on, so I really wish people would just shut up about it all ready. I really enjoyed David Kirchoff's take on Thanksgiving. It's probably one of the few pieces (of the dozens) I've read over the past couple of weeks that I really identified with when it comes to all of this Thanksgiving madness.

Yes, others can choose to approach the holiday however they please. I'm just choosing not to freak out or make crust-less sugar-free pumpkin pie mini-bites. I'm also not hosting/making the meal, so yes, I totally have it easy and don't have the same responsibility that others may have. If I did, then yeah, I'd probably be making mashed butternut squash, low-fat gravy and high-fiber rolls too.

-Got my heart rate monitor back (the one that shows calories burned). It was nice taking a break from it at first, but eventually I was starting to grow weary of estimating how much I was burning, so it's nice to have it again. Biggest disappointment since getting it back? Tae Bo Ultimate Boot Camp. Did this for an hour and barely burned 250 calories. BUT, it is more about strength and resistance training (a.k.a. not good sources of instant mega calorie burn), so I can't badmouth it too much. And using it with the Billy Bands is tough, so I will force myself to do it in the future. I'm always lacking in the world of strength & resistance training.

Looking forward to trying Fat Blaster set. Since those are supposed to be more cardio-based, I hope the calorie burn is decent. I really want something that will push me and burn a good chunk of calories on mornings I can't make it to the gym.

-I think that's about it. Basically, I've been losing and gaining, keeping up with my workouts and just trying to keep sane and have a better attitude about myself. Oh, and eating chocolate. Ugh. And I was reminded by the sudden cramping in my uterus this morning that I will have a lovely menstrual cycle to deal with this week as well. So between cramps, sweet cravings, Taco Bell bringing back my beloved Cheesy Gordita Crunch and Turkey Day, it will be interesting to see where I end up in a few days, haha.

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