Thursday, November 5, 2009


Yesterday, I was feeling a bit nostalgic since it had been one year since Obama's historic election. It didn't feel that long ago, as the year has basically flown by for me (and probably for some of you too). Anywho, it led me to look over my old LiveJournal entries and look back at where I was on my weight-loss journey, a year ago, on November 4, 2008.

I was still in the 200s. I was just starting to jog, 10 minutes at a time. Today, I'm about 54 pounds lighter. And I run. And even though I don't really like to, I can run up to an hour, non-stop. If you told me I would be able to do that 2 and a half years ago, I would've laughed in your face, right before shoving multiple handfuls of peanut M&Ms in my mouth.

It just reminded me that a) it's important to log your progress during a weight-loss journey and b) it's even more important to go back every once in a while and see how far you've come. A lot of us make progress every day, but sometimes we get so caught up in our routines (*cough* raises hand), that we completely forget about said progress and miss out on opportunities for emotional and psychological growth and stability.

In other news, I've been doing pretty good this week. I totally blew it on Halloween, but my weigh-ins over the past few days have shown that I've more than recovered. I've been keeping up with exercise, but have been trying to scale things back a bit to help ease me out of that workout maniac phase that I've been going through the past couple of months.

I've been making it a goal to incorporate yoga 2x a week and I'm starting to fall in love with it. I've just been using the Biggest Loser Weight-Loss Yoga DVD, but it's been great since I'm a beginner. I had done level one sporadically over the past year, but I've FINALLY added on level 2 and I like learning the new moves. It's tough, but I like testing my muscles while also improving my balance, breathing and flexibility. Without sounding too hippy-ish, I think yoga is helping me work on some other issues in my life, such as...

...Compulsive overeating. Yes, that's more or less why I've been in a funk recently. It's come back to haunt me. Compulsive overeating started in my childhood and stayed with me until I was in my 20s and tipping the scales at 248 pounds. Once I started losing weight, I thought I had conquered it almost completely. I figured since binges only happened once in a while, I no longer had to identify overeating as a problem.

The thing is, just because it doesn't happen everyday (or week or month), doesn't mean it's not still a problem. And of course, I've been in complete denial for about the past month. I've finally 'fessed up to myself and just acknowledging that it's still an issue for me has helped quite a bit. Now, I'm moving on to resources, both online and in book form. At first, I felt silly (and admittedly, a bit weak) having to rely on external resources to help me achieve internal happiness and peace with myself, but I've come to realize that I shouldn't feel ashamed at all. Reading about other people's experiences and internalizing their advice has lifted so much grief off of my chest; it's been great.

But, as with anything else, baby steps. Post-goal life has turned out to be more emotionally demanding than I had expected, but if I was strong and determined enough to lose the weight, I can sure as hell put forth the same strength and dedication in maintaining the loss and working through these remaining issues. I just need to learn to forgive myself and be patient with myself this time, instead of the numbers on the scale each week.

It's been a pretty good week so far. And today is shaping up to be nice as well; I forced myself to take a day off from the gym (first day off from working out since October 9), I'm leaving work early, gonna enjoy the nice weather by walking (not sprinting) to the post-office and then heading to my mom's for a grilled salmon dinner. I'm looking forward to the walk because it's surprisingly warm today. I can't remember the last time I walked somewhere, just for the sake of enjoying the outdoors and as a means of transportation. The goal is not to sweat and freak out over what level my heart rate is at, but rather just enjoy the outdoors whilst simultaneously getting an errand done.

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