For breakfast this morning, I skipped my usual sweet options and decided to go with something savory. As part of the Foodbuzz Tastemaker Program, I received some Orowheat Sandwich Thins to try. I've actually had them before, but stopped buying them for a while since I go through different phases with bread. ANYWHO, they're pretty great to have around and I love that they have 5g each of fiber and protein. After tossing around some ideas, I settled on a BETA sandwich (Bacon, Egg, Tomato and Avocado).
Pretty quick to throw together. "Fried" the egg in a nonstick pan and microwaved the bacon inside some paper towels. Technically, I used some pre-made guacamole as opposed to whole avocado slices, but BETA is a much cooler acronym than BETG. Obviously.
For "dessert," I enjoyed some iced coffee in my cool new reusable cup that I won in a contest from Trading Up Downtown (a.k.a. Tina, from Carrots 'N' Cake). On the side were a couple of Sweet Potato Oatmeal Raisin Cookies I made, also posted on Trading Up Downtown.
Instead of mashed sweet potatoes, I used some jars of sweet potato baby food I had left over from my baby food phase and in place of oil, I used the last of my apple sauce. Probably not the best substitutions in retrospect because the cookies ended up too moist, even after increasing the baking time and adding a couple extra tablespoons of flour. The flavor was still good though. Doug said they made great "energy balls," but not-so-great cookies. I suppose I can live with that.
Time for some Saturday morning confessions. Confession #1: I'm, for the moment, skipping my 4-mile run today. I'm just way too sore and exhausted. Why? Well, that leads us to Confession #2: I worked out twice yesterday. In the morning, I did an hour long cardio/strength Jari Love DVD. After work, I came home and ran two miles, ignoring the soreness that had already begun to set in my legs from the strength training. Why did I push myself and overdo it? Confession #3: I felt guilty from eating 2 cookies at work earlier that afternoon. I told myself "I want to run because I'm restless!", but really, it was because of 2 buttery cookies.
Yep. For the first time in several weeks, I experienced food guilt and tried to redeem myself (punish myself?) with extra exercise. And really, I've kinda been doing that subconsciously, for the past couple of weeks. I haven't been binging, but there still have been some occasional bouts of overeating and I think instead of acknowledging those behaviors when they happen, I've instead tried to distract myself with the 10K training. And knowing all of this is probably why my runs have been so crappy- because I'm not really running for all of the right reasons. That, and I'm tired from working out 6 days a week. On the upside, I've been losing weight, but I've been making the process a lot harder than it needs to be because I've stopped trusting myself. And really, I should know better.
So I'm taking a break today. I've had this pattern of working out extra long and hard on the weekends which subsequently leads to mindless eating, so I'm going to challenge myself to break that pattern. If I do any activity today, it'll be some walking and/or yoga. I'm also going to re-establish my hunger cues. I listen to my body pretty well during the week, but always have this urge to work against hunger cues on the weekend. So, so silly and unnecessary.
Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good so far, aside from crampy legs. I've realized that instead of training to run 10K at a 9-10 minute/mile pace, my real goal should be to get back to that happy place where I don't fear food and exercise because it makes me feel good, not out of fear of fat. I've been in that balanced place before, so I know it's possible to go back.