Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Biggest Loser

Forgot to post my thoughts on last night's Biggest Loser! I'll of course spare details so as not to spoil it for anyone who hasn't watched it yet, but here are few things:

- I'm sorry, but that Tracey woman from the purple team has Crazy Eyes. She just creeps me out. She has this weird look on her face and when she talks, she doesn't really say anything. And she seems high-strung. Maybe she's just nervous and still adjusting to being on the show, which I can understand.

- Shay needed to stop getting her panties in a twist over Julio. I know they all needed to work as one big team this week, but overall, you should always just focus on looking out for yourself. I know it's a show and a lot of what she said was aired just for sheer drama/entertainment purposes, but good grief. Shut the hell up already and get back to work!

- Ok, truth time: When the blue team weighed in last night, I cried. Rudy asked his teammate (Dina? I think that's her name) how it felt to lose 8 pounds. She paused and then said "I think sometimes I sell myself short." I can't fully explain why, but I totally burst into tears when she said that. It echoed in my head and reminded me of how I ALWAYS sold myself short when I was heavier. It further reminded me of how I sometimes still sell myself short even now, after losing the majority of the weight and trying to make it to goal.

I guess sometimes I forget (or try to) how much extra stress I put on myself by being unforgiving and flat-out negative. Lately, I've been trying to improve my self-image and re-assure myself that I am indeed awesome, but it's still a work in progress. I never realized how much time it would take to make the mental transition from being absolutely disgusted by myself to being proud of becoming a healthy individual. It's hard, yo.

I'm definitely more confident than I used to be, but I still find myself occasionally doubting myself like I used to at 248 pounds.

Anywho, hearing someone else say out loud the same exact thing that I practiced for YEARS just really hit me hard, but in a good way. In order to get me to stop crying, Doug made a crack about how Julio looks like Corey Feldman ate Corey Haim. Mean, yes, but also made me laugh hysterically. Mostly because I'm still geeky enough about the 80s to be genuinely entertained by a Feldman/Haim reference.

It's still too early to decide who I'm rooting for, but I think it's safe to say that I hope Dina sticks around for a little while longer.

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