Pushing the limits.

Decided to change things up this morning with a sample fat-loss workout from Joel Marion's site (same guy who designed the CYWT program.)

I actually bookmarked it a while back, but avoided it because, well, it just looked too damn intimidating, haha.

Well, this morning I grew a pair and decided to give it a shot. I told myself to just go at my own pace, but also not be afraid to test my limits. Here's a quick breakdown:

-5 min. warm-up of running in place (butt-kicks, high-knees), mixed with some quick stretching.
-Did the circuit as listed, with the exception of lat pulldowns and push-ups.*
-Took a 2 min. break.
-Repeated the circuit once more.

*Since I was at home and don't have a lat bar, I used a resistance band and a door attachment to mimic it as best as I could. As for the push-ups, I did my own wussy version off of my weight bench because, yes, despite all the weight I've lost and all of the fitness training I've done, I still can't do full-out push-ups, let alone the ones that entail elevating my feet. Definitely something I'll forever be working toward.

The whole session, including the warm-up, 2 min. break and repeated circuit, took me about 33 minutes and burned a little over 300 cals. Plenty of sweat ensued.

I survived! And it wasn't terrible, but it was still an ass-kicker. The "OMG, I'm going to die!" moment came during the second round of mountain climbers. I was certain my hips were going to pop off like a Barbie doll's. But, at the same time, I was proud of myself for pushing through the burn because I could have just as easily given up. It was one of those rare moments where I was conscious of the fact that I was sort of feeding off of my own adrenaline in order to reach a specific goal. I dunno if that makes sense or not, but it was just a cool feeling to have during a moment of self-inflicted torture, heh.

There are also adjustments to be made for next time, between the amount of weight used during some of the moves, and, of course, my form. It was my first time performing a dumbbell snatch. I watched some videos beforehand, but I still think my timing of the jump was off a bit.

Anywho, even though it was tough, it went by suuuuper fast and I felt awesome afterward (once I was able to breathe again, of course). It was a great combination of strength training and cardio and I'm totally looking forward to doing it again.

Checking in.

Helllooo out there. I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, but still felt I should post a brief update.

Things are going well. I'm still following the CYWT plan. Feeling great, still eating my usual favorite healthy foods and, duh, enjoying the day of food-freedom each week. Physically, I'm looking better too. My arms, abs and chest (gasp! tee-hee) are all toning up nicely.

Still not ready to post weigh-ins yet though, and for a couple of reasons: A) I want to wait until I've been on the plan longer to make better sense of my overall progress and B) I'm FINALLY reaching a point where I just don't give a shit about numbers anymore. I've reached a size that I'm happy with, so as long as I'm feeling awesome AND looking awesome in my size 8's, I can't really be bothered with the scale too much. It made me crazy for a lot of months (moving from weekly to daily weigh-ins sure as hell didn't help) and that craziness went on to have negative effects on my diet and workout routines (i.e., over-exercising to make up for overeating).

I think I've finally reached a new level of balance this week. Feels like it, anyway. I've only been working out 3-4 days a week (instead of the usual 6-7) and since I've pretty much done away with counting Weight Watchers points since Thanksgiving (and of course following the CYWT program instead), I'm much more conscious of my food choices and feel like I'm finally treating myself better, instead of feeling like I was constantly being watched by the All Powerful WW Points Gods.

Don't get me wrong- following WW and losing all that weight was awesome, but it feels liberating to eat more mindfully as opposed to constantly asking myself "do I have enough points left to eat this?" It was making me insane during those last 20 pounds to goal and as I tried to move into maintenance.

I'm still tracking everything on The Daily Plate though, just for sanity checks and to see my macronutrient breakdown, which is something that I kinda need to monitor throughout CYWT. And I'm cool with that.

Anywho. I'm finally killing my anxiety toward food and finally starting to see what this maintenance thing is all about. It's sucking a lot less these days, actually. I've fully acknowledged and made peace with how I need to eat and exercise for the rest of my life. I think I used to have a general idea, but hadn't yet fully grasped the concept until now.

Speaking of exercise, I've been doing a mix of sprint intervals at the gym (alternating between the treadmill, bike, elliptical, stairmaster and sometimes, rowing machine), Tae Bo (with Body Bands) and I've re-kindled my love affair with lifting this week. I'm not gonna lie- I'm loving my arms these days. I mean, I'm feeling some serious toning all around, but my arms totally turn me on, haha. Shoulder presses & deadlifts FTW.

I think that covers everything for now. I'm not even fretting over the holidays and the clichéd weight gain. So far, I'm making December my bitch, thanks to the Holiday Calendar Joel made for the CYWT program. I know, I keep plugging it over and over, but it really has made things so much more relaxed and fool-proof for me. Definitely a change I needed to try. Hooray for progress! Hope everyone is doing well.

A few more things...

As if my last post wasn't long enough, I still managed to leave out a couple of things...

-RE: The Cheat Your Way Thin program... No, I did NOT pay $97 or whatever it says on the site... Because I was already on Joel's mailing list, I paid a fraction of that, thanks to some special limited-time-only sale price. And I did get just the basic program, none of the "upgrades." It all just seemed unnecessary.

That said, should you like to get on the mailing list (not just for special offer alerts on the program, but for *free* general fitness/food tips), I would suggest going to his main blog site, Body Transformation Insider first. From there, just sign up for the "Fat Loss Secrets Exposed" thing and that will add you to the list (that's the only way I've figured it out).

Otherwise, you can visit the contact section of the site for his Twitter/Facebook info.

-I discovered Emerald's Cocoa Roasted Almonds this weekend. OMG. I know they've been out for a while, but I forgot about them until our trip to Sam's Club this weekend. Perfect almond option, in my opinion. So far, I've exerted some major self-control and haven't finished off the whole tub in 2 days. Definitely one of those proceed-with-extreme-caution kind of snacks, but worth a try if you're looking for a healthier sweet treat alternative.

Phew. Ok. I think I can shut up for a few days now.

Obligatory Survival Post

Well, the interwebs have been flooded the past few days with blog updates, tweets and articles all about Thanksgiving and post-Thanksgiving eating and recovery. That said, I guess I might as well add to the pile. I wasn't going to at first because of the low points I experienced, but I've made some awesome progress the past few days, so I felt the need to share.

But first, let us back up to Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Oh man. I had just started that time of the month and I was just plain HUNGRY. Insatiable. Well, between PMS cravings and the bottomless pit that was my stomach, Thanksgiving Eve did indeed turn into an all-out junk fest. And I will be honest, knowing that the next day was Thanksgiving, I totally used that as an excuse to overeat. It was a bad move in retrospect, but one positive that came out of it all was that I wasn't guilt-ridden. I just didn't care. No, I shouldn't have ate all of that crap mindlessly and with complete abandon, but the fact that I didn't completely hate myself afterward was kind of a big deal. I'd like to think of it as major progress, with regards to my binging issue.

Thanksgiving Day: Yeah, I felt kinda crappy, but I did some cycling, Tae Bo and weight training anyway. Felt better and was still excited for the big meal. Even though I was still digesting Wednesday's nonsense, my goal was to keep a positive attitude and enjoy the next round of mucho food.

And I did. Everything was delicious and rich. But leftovers later that evening proved to be a mistake. That night, I really packed it in to the point where I felt kinda miserable.

Even though I felt like crap, I was determined not to hate myself and start entering that cycle where I beat myself up, both mentally & physically. At the same time though, I needed to regain focus and control. That's where Cheat Your Way Thin comes in.

Yes, it sounds like a total fad diet. Yes, the information page gives off kind of a cheesy, questionable vibe. Yes, it costs money and therefore poses a risk factor.

So why the hell did I pay for this program? Well, I had been signed up on Joel Marion's (the program's creator) mailing list for about a month or so already, so I had grown familiar with who he was and some of his general fitness/food tips. I think I originally came across him through another personal trainer blog I follow...

ANYWHO. In the newsletters, Joel spoke more and more about his program and I was intrigued. When I found out it cost money, I told myself "No way." I'm not sure what caused me to change my mind that Thanksgiving Day... Perhaps it was desperation... All I know is that the more I read and the more I heard about the program on other personal trainer blogs that I do indeed trust and respect, the more convinced I became. I made a few clicks, paid and downloaded the program materials.

Since I paid for this, I'm not going to go into every last little detail, but so far, I'm soooo pleased. The program is basically built around carb-cycling with a "cheat" day worked into every week. There are of course specific guidelines to keep you from screwing yourself over and making bad decisions (i.e., binging), but not so many that it's not feasible. And the big selling point for me was that Joel created a special Holiday calendar where he basically maps out your whole first month on the plan, starting with Thanksgiving, which is indeed the first "cheat" day. He works in the rest of the month's "cheat" days around other upcoming holidays and potential holiday parties and it's just awesome. Talk about a ton of pressure and anxiety being lifted from my chest almost instantly.

As I read through more of the program material, I discovered that YES!, there is indeed a maintenance phase. After I jumped into buying the program, I worried that maybe there wasn't a maintenance phase and that doing this program would defeat the purpose of making lifestyle changes for the past 2.5 years. But Joel did not disappoint; he breaks everything down to the point where it's basically fool-proof and sustainable for a long period of time (i.e., the rest of your life).

When I finished reading everything, I said to myself, "yes, I can do this." And it all makes sense, really. Perhaps I could have developed a similar approach on my own, but I simply hadn't read the right combination of research to figure it out. (And Joel does indeed do his research; a lot of the science-type stuff he writes about matches up with a lot of articles/books I've read about certain hormones, how they impact your weight and how they're impacted by certain combinations of food and exercise.)

Bottom line: I feel pretty damn great today. Still eating healthy and still tracking what I eat on the Daily Plate, but moving away from tracking Weight Watchers points on top of that. I'm slowly breaking away from OCD-like food tracking methods that were making me insane. This weekend I noticed, probably for the first time ever, that I am indeed capable of making good food choices on my own, without chanting in my head "I'm on Weight Watchers, I must watch my weight, I must stay in control, etc."

I'm not sure if that made sense, but essentially, it's the closest to weight-loss maintenance that I think I've ever been. I was eating for fuel, I was enjoying what I ate and I had subconsciously picked the right combination of foods to make sure it was all balanced and beneficial to my health. And I wasn't freaking out about points or calories the whole time. I wasn't freaking out about anything. I felt, dare I say it, normal.

Moving on- I'm down to 155.8 today, over two pounds less than I was pre-Thanksgiving. Between PMS bloat and binging bloat, I totally saw the 170s on Friday. Yes, I know I didn't actually gain that much in such a short period of time, but it feels soooo good to be back to my "happy" range.

I'm TOTALLY ranting here, I'm sorry. I just feel so much better and so much more optimistic than I have in a really long time. I don't want to be cheesy and say "And I owe it all to Cheat Your Way Thin!", but I'd be lying if I said it hasn't helped put a lot of things into perspective. Just goes to show you that it is possible to become burned out on a certain tried-and-trusted routine, and that it's ok to poke around and find something new to give you a boost and a better chance at success. I'm feeling empowered and much more sure of myself than I have in a long time. (And no, I didn't get paid or receive any free swag for plugging CYWT.)

I'm NOT saying "Oh go out and buy this program because it's only been a few days and I feel awesome and you will too!" Who knows what kind of results I'll have after the first month? (I'll update here, of course.)

I guess I just felt compelled to share my recovery plan and how good it feels to finally give myself credit for how strong I've become. The past few months have seen waaay too much self-hatred and guilt, so it's been awesome to have some moments of clarity the past few days. I will NOT regain 90+ pounds (in a week, in a month or ever) and I WILL live a happy, healthy and balanced life. No freaking out required.

Twitter

Since my updates here are slowing down these days, I thought I'd finally link you all to my Twitter page.

I don't tweet often, but there are some updates/links I slap on there occasionally that I don't necessarily remember (or have time) to post on the ol' blog as well.

Can't I just sleep through this week?

Just a quick run-down:

-Didn't do a weigh-in post last Friday because, gasp, I gained. I let Doug's birthday turn into a birthday celebration weekend. So essentially, I took someone else's birthday, not even my own (a single day, I might add) and used it as an excuse to binge 3 days in a row. I've moved on since then, thankfully.

-Getting better at forgiving myself when I slip up. But it would be nice not to slip-up in the first place. Or at least not as often as I have been lately.

I have to be blunt: Weight-loss maintenance, for me, sucks ass. I've been having a hard time for weeks now. And you know why? Because I'm a hypocrite. I've blogged and told people in person that the key to losing weight and keeping it off is to make a lifestyle change (with regards to your eating habits) and that you can have good food in moderation and blah, blah, blah.

Well, I'm a hypocrite because despite my weight loss, I still haven't let go of that "all or nothing" mentality. Perhaps over a decade of yo-yo dieting is to blame, but I'll be damned if I can practice what I preach these days. Sure, in the past, I have practiced moderation (LOADS of times!) and made it home from a party or a wedding or a holiday dinner without having totally pigged out, still enjoyed myself and actually proud of my food/drink choices.

Lately (well, probably the past few months, really), I've lost that ability to moderate. It really has just been binge, workout more, eat clean, rinse, repeat. "They" say it's better to lose weight at a slower pace because you're more likely to keep it off. It took me 2.5 years to lose 90 pounds. So, in theory, I should be golden, right? Well, I also spent 2.5 years in "must lose weight!" mode, so to tell myself to stop losing and maintain and just continue to keep things healthy... Well... it's just proving to be a challenge.

I know I can't expect to make the maintenance phase my bitch immediately, so I'll cut myself some slack. But it's still tough. Right now, I'm stuck between not trying to lose, but trying not to gain. And trying to find that particular point of balance is just plain hard.

-I need to stop weighing myself everyday. I was able to justify it before, but I think that's one habit that needs to stop pronto, especially if I expect to succeed in maintenance.

-I really am done with all of the posts/articles out there FREAKING OUT over Thanksgiving dinner. All of the healthy alternative recipes for stuffing and pumpkin pie; all of the "stay slim!" strategies to practice before/after the meal... My god. It's one meal. One day. I've managed to lose over Thanksgiving in the past while still getting my pig-out on, so I really wish people would just shut up about it all ready. I really enjoyed David Kirchoff's take on Thanksgiving. It's probably one of the few pieces (of the dozens) I've read over the past couple of weeks that I really identified with when it comes to all of this Thanksgiving madness.

Yes, others can choose to approach the holiday however they please. I'm just choosing not to freak out or make crust-less sugar-free pumpkin pie mini-bites. I'm also not hosting/making the meal, so yes, I totally have it easy and don't have the same responsibility that others may have. If I did, then yeah, I'd probably be making mashed butternut squash, low-fat gravy and high-fiber rolls too.

-Got my heart rate monitor back (the one that shows calories burned). It was nice taking a break from it at first, but eventually I was starting to grow weary of estimating how much I was burning, so it's nice to have it again. Biggest disappointment since getting it back? Tae Bo Ultimate Boot Camp. Did this for an hour and barely burned 250 calories. BUT, it is more about strength and resistance training (a.k.a. not good sources of instant mega calorie burn), so I can't badmouth it too much. And using it with the Billy Bands is tough, so I will force myself to do it in the future. I'm always lacking in the world of strength & resistance training.

Looking forward to trying Fat Blaster set. Since those are supposed to be more cardio-based, I hope the calorie burn is decent. I really want something that will push me and burn a good chunk of calories on mornings I can't make it to the gym.


-I think that's about it. Basically, I've been losing and gaining, keeping up with my workouts and just trying to keep sane and have a better attitude about myself. Oh, and eating chocolate. Ugh. And I was reminded by the sudden cramping in my uterus this morning that I will have a lovely menstrual cycle to deal with this week as well. So between cramps, sweet cravings, Taco Bell bringing back my beloved Cheesy Gordita Crunch and Turkey Day, it will be interesting to see where I end up in a few days, haha.

Weigh-In Day.

Today's weight: 151.8. A gain of 0.8 pounds. Since last week showed me a loss of 5.8 pounds, a gain was expected. But... I must be honest... After having my first perfect week in several weeks (no binging, consistent exercise, TONS of fruit & veggies), seeing a gain was a tad bit irritating. I was hoping I would've at least stayed the same. Oh well. It is what it is.

I took the day off from work today. Slept in a little and then did levels 2 & 3 of the 30 Day Shred DVD back to back, followed by a weight routine with bench presses (30 pounds) and deadlifts (50 pounds). I'm starting to dig deadlifts now that I increased the weight. I can feel my abs, legs, arms and chest all working all at once. It's really easy to talk myself out of lifting, but once I actually do it, I start to enjoy it because I'm more in tune with my muscles and can literally feel myself getting stronger. Feels pretty bad-ass.

That's about it, really. Not much else to report. Hopefully I'll have a more exciting post next week. Have a great weekend!

Stairs and sanity.

Well, a meeting at work got canceled this afternoon, so I finally have a proper moment to catch up on some things.

RECIPES! Got some new ones for ya. First one is a casserole dish from one of my favorite sites, Eat Better America. It's called Healthified Chicken Tortilla Casserole. It was awesome! I made my own version based on slightly different ingredients I had (i.e., greek yogurt instead of sour cream, almond milk instead of fat-free milk, etc.) and made 6 servings instead of 8.

Next is one I haven't actually tried yet, but it sounds good: Broccoli Tofu Bake. Again, I'm going to do my own version based on stuff I have. Main thing is I'm adding cheese. It just seems wrong to me to have a broccoli "bake" without melted cheese, heh. Looking forward to making it for dinner tonight!

Had a good workout at the gym this morning. I tried taking a stab at this StairMaster/StepMill interval workout for the second time and I just couldn't hack it. In fact, I crapped out after 20 minutes and I wasn't even doing the same levels that were listed. Once you get to level 8 on the machine I use at the gym, you're pumping pretty fast. Anything at level 9 or above is moving into jogging/running territory at that point. Up moving stairs. Buh. Yes, I'm a sadist, haha.

Last time I tried it, I stuck through the whole 40 minutes, but of course at much lower levels. Even by lowering the levels again this morning, I was just not cutting it. Oh well. New goal to work toward! And, I actually found another workout from the same site that has a beginner's version (scroll down a bit to see it). I think that's a much better level for me to start.

After having my ass handed to me 20 minutes in, I filled the rest of my time with a quick mile run, the elliptical and a few minutes of cool-down on the bike. Definitely left as Sweaty McSweaty Pants. Felt good.

Eating this week has still been going good; I made it through the weekend without binging! It's been a loooong time. Or it's felt like a long time, anyway. Just feeling a bit more empowered this week, overall. We're celebrating Doug's 30th birthday this weekend, so I hope this trend of control will carry over into next week. I definitely plan on indulging, but I don't plan on feeling bloated, guilty and depressed in the days that follow. I just can't perpetuate that cycle anymore. It's too draining.

Gotta get back to work. And new Biggest Loser tonight! Hope everyone is having a great week.

Weigh-in Day.

Today's weight: 151. A loss of 5.8 pounds. Now, don't get me wrong; this is totally cool and all, but my weight has fluctuated like crazy the past few weeks, so it's hard to believe that this number will last. Let's take a look at some previous weigh-ins, shall we?

-10/30/09: 156.8
-10/23/09: 157.4
-10/16/09: 153.8
-10/9/09: 152.4
-10/2/09: 156.6

Insane. But, it also kinda makes sense. Those past weeks included a few extreme binge days, followed by extreme workout days, so my body didn't know what the hell to do. I really don't want to repeat a cycle like that again. Weekends are always a battle for me, so all I want to achieve over the next few days is balance. And, with the exception of Halloween, I managed to achieve some pretty damn good balance this week. I've been eating just the right amount of food (and enjoying it!) and I've been keeping my workouts in check by not overdoing it and being more aware of certain cues (muscle soreness, feelings of sluggishness versus feeling energized, etc.).

One thing that has probably helped is not having my regular heart rate monitor that tells me how many calories I burn. I had to send it away to be serviced this week, so I've had to go back to doing estimates on calories burned during workouts. Not my preferred method, obviously, but it has taken some of the underlying pressure off. It's allowed me to just be more in tune with my heart rate and breathing patterns on my own, instead of a monitor telling me where I'm at. I think it just forced me to work out smarter, as opposed to just doing whatever it takes to burn 700 calories at a time.

ANYWHO, in more exciting news, I can now fit comfortably into some size 7/8 jeans I bought a couple of months ago. I think I was more excited about that than seeing 151 on the scale. And a size 7/8 is pretty much where I wanted to end up anyway. Hooray!

Although I'm trying to move away from the numbers game, I can't help but point out that today's weight puts me at 97 pounds lost. Three pounds away from that elusive 100 pound mark. Sigh. I'm just going to take things one pound (and one day) at a time. I think changing up my fitness routine and being more aware of my diet this week really helped to move me in a new direction where I might possibly reach 148 without having to kill myself with stress.

Overall though, 3 pounds isn't going to change the way I look at this point and since I'm finally coming around and sort of loving the way I look now (especially in these jeans), I'm more concerned with just being happy with myself and feeling good.

Nostalgia.

Yesterday, I was feeling a bit nostalgic since it had been one year since Obama's historic election. It didn't feel that long ago, as the year has basically flown by for me (and probably for some of you too). Anywho, it led me to look over my old LiveJournal entries and look back at where I was on my weight-loss journey, a year ago, on November 4, 2008.

I was still in the 200s. I was just starting to jog, 10 minutes at a time. Today, I'm about 54 pounds lighter. And I run. And even though I don't really like to, I can run up to an hour, non-stop. If you told me I would be able to do that 2 and a half years ago, I would've laughed in your face, right before shoving multiple handfuls of peanut M&Ms in my mouth.

It just reminded me that a) it's important to log your progress during a weight-loss journey and b) it's even more important to go back every once in a while and see how far you've come. A lot of us make progress every day, but sometimes we get so caught up in our routines (*cough* raises hand), that we completely forget about said progress and miss out on opportunities for emotional and psychological growth and stability.

In other news, I've been doing pretty good this week. I totally blew it on Halloween, but my weigh-ins over the past few days have shown that I've more than recovered. I've been keeping up with exercise, but have been trying to scale things back a bit to help ease me out of that workout maniac phase that I've been going through the past couple of months.

I've been making it a goal to incorporate yoga 2x a week and I'm starting to fall in love with it. I've just been using the Biggest Loser Weight-Loss Yoga DVD, but it's been great since I'm a beginner. I had done level one sporadically over the past year, but I've FINALLY added on level 2 and I like learning the new moves. It's tough, but I like testing my muscles while also improving my balance, breathing and flexibility. Without sounding too hippy-ish, I think yoga is helping me work on some other issues in my life, such as...

...Compulsive overeating. Yes, that's more or less why I've been in a funk recently. It's come back to haunt me. Compulsive overeating started in my childhood and stayed with me until I was in my 20s and tipping the scales at 248 pounds. Once I started losing weight, I thought I had conquered it almost completely. I figured since binges only happened once in a while, I no longer had to identify overeating as a problem.

The thing is, just because it doesn't happen everyday (or week or month), doesn't mean it's not still a problem. And of course, I've been in complete denial for about the past month. I've finally 'fessed up to myself and just acknowledging that it's still an issue for me has helped quite a bit. Now, I'm moving on to resources, both online and in book form. At first, I felt silly (and admittedly, a bit weak) having to rely on external resources to help me achieve internal happiness and peace with myself, but I've come to realize that I shouldn't feel ashamed at all. Reading about other people's experiences and internalizing their advice has lifted so much grief off of my chest; it's been great.

But, as with anything else, baby steps. Post-goal life has turned out to be more emotionally demanding than I had expected, but if I was strong and determined enough to lose the weight, I can sure as hell put forth the same strength and dedication in maintaining the loss and working through these remaining issues. I just need to learn to forgive myself and be patient with myself this time, instead of the numbers on the scale each week.

It's been a pretty good week so far. And today is shaping up to be nice as well; I forced myself to take a day off from the gym (first day off from working out since October 9), I'm leaving work early, gonna enjoy the nice weather by walking (not sprinting) to the post-office and then heading to my mom's for a grilled salmon dinner. I'm looking forward to the walk because it's surprisingly warm today. I can't remember the last time I walked somewhere, just for the sake of enjoying the outdoors and as a means of transportation. The goal is not to sweat and freak out over what level my heart rate is at, but rather just enjoy the outdoors whilst simultaneously getting an errand done.

Link time and a revelation.

Ok, first, some new favorite links:

Body By Pizza: This gal is just kicking major ass. I like her sense of humor and writing style too, so it quickly became a new favorite.

Man Meets Scale: This is actually the blog of David Kirchoff, CEO of Weight Watchers. I didn't think I was going to get much from it at first, but the majority of posts I've read so far are pretty friggin' awesome.

...Which leads me to my revelation... In this post, David acknowledges post-goal behavior that I am TOTALLY guilty of, which was more or less shameless self-promotion (I know bringing this up in my blog for the world to see isn't doing me any favors, but hear me out). I found myself guilty of all four behaviors he mentioned. I'm glad he addressed the topic though, because A) I can enter the phase of shutting the fuck up; and B) It was kind of a relief (ok, a pretty damn big relief) to know that I'm not the only one who has experienced this after reaching a weight-loss goal.

I was kinda becoming aware of this me-me-me behavior already, hence killing daily updates this week. I just got sick of myself, I guess. So this particular post seemed like a rare gem that made perfect sense and spoke the truth.

Anywho, I just had to share that. It made me feel better and aided in the process of getting back to Tamara and moving away from Tamara-Who-Lost-90-Pounds. I certainly don't want to belittle my weight loss, but I definitely don't want to be defined by it either. It's like I've been in this "the world must revolve around weight-loss and fitness and healthy eating" fog for the past several months, so I'm trying to ease on the brakes and get back to a normal, balanced (but obviously healthier) life.

Back, Weigh-in.

Ok- update time (told ya the bout of silence would probably be only a few days, heh).

First, we'll start with this morning's weigh-in: 156.8. A loss of 0.6 pounds. It was/is that time of the month for me and I ate reeeeally shitty last Friday, so that's the best I can hope for. After gaining the past two weeks, I was so relieved to see things go in the other direction this morning, for once.

I'm still in a funk, but I'm working through it. I'm stuck in limbo between wanting to lose more weight and maintaining. As of right now, I'd like to get to 153. That would put me at a total loss of 95 pounds. And once I get there (or if I get there, rather), I'll figure out my new plan of action. For now though, I need to see my good ol' ticker as a reminder of how far I've come:



I get caught up in the numbers in front of me all the time and often forget about past progress. Shame, shame, shame.

I've been eating really healthy this week. Lots of broccoli slaw, bell peppers, acorn squash, spinach, brussels sprouts- the list goes on. Just eating my way through seasonal produce deals, one day at a time, heh.

And then there's fitness. BUUUUHHHH. No, I haven't stopped working out. I wish I could, but I feel guilty and worthless if I don't. I've still been plugging along, every day. Just trying to re-evaluate my routines as well as my relationship with fitness in general. I'm not 100% sure, but after reading some fitness articles, I might have been over-training myself the past, I dunno, 1-2 months? So I'm trying to back down from my usual 600-800 calorie burning sessions and focusing on shorter, higher-intensity routines. For example, this morning at the gym, I did a stairmaster interval workout that kicked my ass, but it went by super fast. Five minute warm-up, 30 minutes of intervals, 5 minute cool-down. I totally couldn't do any level beyond 8, but it was a good challenge that got my heart rate up higher than it has been in weeks. Definitely a much-needed boost. Even though I couldn't do the routine as marked, I still felt accomplished because I made it through something that was hard. Prior to this morning, I haven't felt that sense of accomplishment in weeks because my usual routine was essentially getting easy and I was subconsciously bored and comfortable.

Tomorrow we're going to a Halloween party. I really need to have a somewhat normal weekend where I don't completely blow my points in a single night. I'm not going to plan my strategy too much in advance though, because it usually backfires. I'm just going to try and have as normal of a day as I can and just focus on enjoying myself and being around friends. Booze and candy should just be in the background somewhere, not necessarily the highlight of the evening. I will be at the gym beforehand though, trying out this elliptical interval routine. Gotta get some sort of sweat session in as back-up, I suppose.

There will be more updates in the future, but certainly not daily like I was doing before. And no more food lists because I think everyone has a pretty sound idea of what I eat day-to-day by now. But I'll still share any good recipes/meal ideas I come across.

I'm slowly trying to work out some post-goal issues as best as I can. I've discovered that I still don't have a 100% normal relationship with food yet. And I don't know if I ever will, but it would be nice to at least be less anxious around it. I hate that nagging feeling of desperation that I get in certain food-related situations. It makes me feel pathetic and I want it to stop. I want to feel strong again. And normal.

Taking a break.

I'm taking a break from posting updates here for a bit. Still going to be tracking my food and keeping up with my workouts, but right now, I need one less thing to update in my life and I think this is a good place to start. Yes, it's selfish, as I know I've acquired some regular readers and for that I apologize, but to be honest, I'm tired of reading my own thoughts on this topic every single day. It's gotten exhausting and even stressful at times. And since I have the WW online subscription again (for the month, anyway), I want to actually use it and therefore don't need yet another place to update my food points.

I'll resume posting when it feels right. Might be a few days or weeks or months. Thanks.

Weigh-in Day.

Today's weight: 157.4. A gain of 3.4 pounds. Fuck you, body. I don't ever know what the hell you want from me the majority of the time. Yes, I had a couple of bad days this week, but not enough for a 3+ pound gain. Jesus. My net loss this past month was +0.2 pounds. So no loss at all, really. Fantastic. I wasn't discouraged about the gain until I saw that the entire past month was basically a waste of time.

FOOD:

breakfast:
egg whites- 1
broccoli slaw- 0
f.f. shredded cheese- 1
kashi cereal- 1

snack:
apple- 1
carrot- 0
PB2- 1

lunch:
2 c. soup- 3
l.c. wrap- 1
vegan burger- 1
laughing cow- 1
bell pepper- 0

snack:
9 almonds- 1
lightfull smoothie- 1
tootsie rolls- 1

dinner:

total points used: 14/22
activity points: BL Boot Camp- 3
WAPs: 35/35 remaining

EXERCISE:

Biggest Loser Boot Camp this morning. I almost went back to bed after seeing the number on the scale, but I knew I would be regretful later in the day if I didn't workout.

==============================

Trying to stay positive since the weekend is almost here and my cold seems to be on its way out. And I know I need to focus on keeping things balanced. When I start going into extremes with food and exercise, the scale shows it, every time. I think my body got stressed this week and I probably didn't cut myself enough slack the past few days. Maybe I should have ate more. Maybe I didn't work out enough? Who knows. I never do. It was exciting falling below my 90 pound mark, but perhaps it was a fluke and the 140s and I really weren't meant to be. I'll keep trying a little longer, but I must admit, I won't be nearly as optimistic as I have been.

Sick day.

I'm at home sick today. Pretty sure I don't have the flu, but definitely got a head cold in the works. Not sure what to eat yet.

FOOD:

breakfast:
oatmeal w/ protein powder- 3
pomegranate arils- 1

snack:
apple- 1

lunch:
l.c. wrap- 1
broccoli slaw- 0
peppers- 0
laughing cow wedge- 1
2 c. high fiber soup- 3

snack:
boca chicken patty- 3

dinner:
salmon w/ spinach- 3
mashed butternut squash- 2

post-dinner:
frozen yogurt- 2
vitatop- 1
PB2- 1

total points used: 22/22
activity points: 35 min cycling w/ handweights- 3.5
WAPs: -13/35 remaining

EXERCISE:

Not sure if this will happen today. I still have a sore throat going on and I HATE working out with a sore throat. I'm not too achy to work out, but I am just tired overall. I might just watch my food like a hawk and take things easy on the workout front. We'll see.

Sore throat got better, so I rode my stationary bike while also doing some shoulder presses & bicep curls with some hand weights. I actually feel a little bit better. I was starting to get that "OMG, I feel useless because I haven't exercised" feeling, which was putting me in a bitchy mood.

The routine itself was actually a little more intense than I thought it would be. Adding the presses and curls while pumping my legs really got my heart rate up. Nice to know there's another decent cardio routine I can do at home when I don't feel like going to the gym or doing a DVD.

Damn my impulses.

Gaaahhhh. I swear, my impulsiveness will be the death of me some day. Soooo, basically ignore that last post. I already canceled the online WW membership. Again.

Had I taken the time to read about what it takes to be a Lifetime member, I wouldn't have bothered in the first place. After another exchange of e-mails with the WW employee lady, I have to lose 5 pounds through meetings, maintain for 6 weeks and so on. Online members can't become Lifetime members, which I suppose makes sense, but the cost difference for meetings just wasn't going to fly with my budget, even with my insurance company's discount. I could justify the online membership costs, but the meetings would just be putting me further into the hole each month.

Bah. So frustrating! And really, I've just lost too much weight already. I should've re-joined when I still had 20 pounds to lose. I thought about it, but wasn't taking WW employment as seriously at the time. And I'll be damned if I'm going to purposefully GAIN weight and spend more money just to get back into the program. I can't pretend that doing something like that would make sense.

So I basically wasted a little money for one-month of an online subscription. Not the worst thing in the world (I'll still use it through November for the accountability reasons I mentioned before), but just sort of retarded all around. All because I'm too impatient (and bored).

As far as the weight part is concerned, I don't want to re-adjust my goal below 148, because I honestly don't think I can maintain anything below that. Plus, I'm close to losing 5 pounds on my own already, duh. ANYWHO...

I'm just irritated. I wanna go to grad school for the master's in Health Promotion, but all of the classes are offered during the day when I work (which sucks, because the school would pay for the classes since I work at the same school). I want to become a personal trainer, but I need to tone up first, THEN invest a good chunk of change in the training materials and the exams. I just feel like I should be out there doing SOMETHING related to health and weight-loss (and let's be honest, getting paid for it), but I keep hitting these stupid roadblocks that put everything on hold indefinitely.

I'm not going to lie, I'm feeling a void in my life right now because I'm not making a living doing something I love and feel represents my interests (I know, welcome to the club, right?). It's frustrating knowing what you want to do, but not having the resources (or time or money) to do it.

So here I am, an amateur who lost over 90 pounds, is certified in nothing and has a lot of debt, haha. Good grief.

Oh, and on top of that, I'm coming down with a cold. No wonder I wasn't thinking clearly all day.

Paying for an old friend.

So, I have a confession to make... I re-signed up with Weight Watchers Online this morning. I know- "What? Why? Weren't you doing just fine following your own free version?" Yes, yes I was.

To be honest, the main reason I signed up again was so I can (hopefully) have a shot at becoming a WW employee. I know, it's not the smartest idea to invest money in something if the outcome isn't guaranteed. Yes, I'm basically gambling right now, but it's not so bad. I was able to sign up through my insurance provider's website at a discounted rate, so that made the decision a little easier (and budget-friendly).

I suppose becoming a leader some day would be cool, but right now, I'd just like to find a receptionist position and go from there. I've never actually been to a meeting, so I have no clue what it's like, aside from my vague memories from when my mom and I used to go when I was 12.

And truthfully, even though I've been successful without all of the official WW tools, I still missed having full access to the site. It saved some of my data from before and I was also able to go back and enter all of my previous weights back to September 2008.

Lastly, I think knowing that I'm paying for this will make me more accountable and keep me focused, much like my gym membership. It probably seems silly, but I do have a renewed sense of motivation right now and feel happy with my decision.

I know with the economy, the chances of me getting hired with them are probably slim-to-none, but at the very least, they can guide me to my goal and I can finally experience the joy of being dubbed a Lifetime Member. (And hey, I might have a shot at being one of their published success stories too! Heh heh.) I've been corresponding via e-mail with a lady who I'm assuming is a local WW employee, so hopefully that will keep me on their radar (she initially contacted me after I filled out the online employment application form a few nights ago). We'll see where things go.

I'm still following the Points plan (I still can't comprehend the Simply Filling plan, so I need to read up on that to see if I want to try it down the road), but I'm trying to get used to how they treat activity points and weekly allowance points now. They basically swapped them. When I heard about this idea a few months ago, I thought it was silly, but I guess it's ok. It doesn't really change how I earn activity points, but it is kind of nice to see I still have "banked" activity points left this week, as opposed to negative allowance points on my old spreadsheet. Sometimes little changes like that can be the mental boost I need to get through the week, haha.

ANYWHO, I'm happy. I love Weight Watchers, always loved the approach and philosophy and it feels great to "be back," in a sense. In fact, I think I'll look into trying a meeting soon. I'm not sure if they still give free meeting vouchers to Online members, but I suppose it's worth checking out. I just have this itch to get involved with the program in any way that I can.

Dinner last night was awesome. I made my version of Chicken with Portobello Mushrooms & Artichoke Hearts. It was adapted from this original version. The main differences are that I used half the oil, chicken broth (instead of beef) and red wine instead of brandy. I baked a potato on the side and let it soak up the extra broth. So friggin' yum.

FOOD:

breakfast:
f.f. cottage cheese w/ pumpkin- 2
kashi cereal- 1

snack:
apple- 1
carrot/bell pepper- 0
hummus- 1
9 almonds- 1

lunch:
leftover chicken/mushroom/artichoke- 5
broccoli slaw- 0
f.f. french dressing- 1

snack:
lightfull smoothie- 1

dinner:
l.c. wrap- 1
tuna- 2
light mayo- 1
acorn squash- 2

post-dinner:
frozen yogurt- 2
vitatop- 1

total points used: 22/22
activity points: BL Boot Camp, all levels- 3
WAPs: -13/35 remaining

Quiz tonight, assuming the weather doesn't get shittier than it already is, so I'm planning a quickie-meal for dinner. Probably mashed acorn squash and a tuna salad wrap. Or soup. Not sure yet.

EXERCISE:

Did some Biggest Loser Boot Camp this morning. Didn't push myself as hard, so I burned about 50 calories less than usual. I'll either hit the gym tomorrow or do a Jillian Michaels DVD at home.

Oh, for crying out loud.

Overate again last night. I don't know what my deal is this week. One minute I care, the next, I don't. I'm slipping into the same cycle of anxiety and self-sabotage that I suffered through after losing 80 pounds. I was so excited (and impatient) to reach my next milestone, that I started stressing myself out and making inconsistent choices.

Said cycle involved overexercising to compensate for overeating, which is exactly what I'm doing this week and I hate myself for it. Mostly because I should know better. I do know better. Sigh. I suppose the best I can do is forgive myself and move on, but slowly and with caution. I've been getting ahead of myself again, with regards to advanced planning of food and fitness. Normally, that's a good thing, but if I try to plan shit out weeks ahead of time, I just end up making myself crazy, especially if I don't meet those commitments.

I need to take my own advice that I often give to others: Take things one day at a time. Each day (or in some cases, each hour) is a new beginning and a new opportunity to start fresh and re-focus. I need to stop and look back at how far I've already come. It's still a challenge though; I still have my days where I feel like I'm back at 248 pounds and I'm briefly haunted by that old hopeless feeling. It's a lot harder to shake than I thought it would be, but I can't be entirely surprised by it either; I was overweight since age 8 and have only been at a normal weight for a few months. For so many years, I wanted to prove to myself that I could one day be at a healthy weight. Most days, it seemed impossible and I really was convinced that I would be fat for the rest of my life. Well, I've reached the normal weight, but I still have that nagging feeling that there's still more to prove, hence me trying to tone up and lose the last 10 pounds to make the loss an even 100. I know it's not good to focus on numbers, but I have and still am.

I just need to breathe and remind myself that this is not a race. And if I have a nervous breakdown before reaching the 100 pound mark, I won't have let anyone down.

Whew. That ended up going on longer than I intended. Sorry. On to the normal stuff, haha.

FOOD:

breakfast:
egg whites- 1
spinach/mushroom/parmesan- 1
pesto romano chicken sausage- 2

snack:
apple- 1
carrot/celery- 0
PB2- 1

lunch:
leftover cassoulet- 5

snack:
lightfull smoothie- 1

dinner:
Chicken w/ Portobello Mushrooms & Artichoke Hearts- 5
potato- 2

post-dinner:
vitatop- 1
frozen yogurt- 2
laughing cow- 1

total points used: 23/22
activity points: 60 min. HIIT routine- 8
net points: 22
WAPs: -13/35 remaining

planning on trying a chicken/portobello mushroom/artichoke heart recipe that I found, mostly because, shock!, I actually have all of those ingredients on hand. I'll have to make some adjustments though, so I'll post both versions tomorrow. Might have some broccoli or green beans on the side. Or potatoes. We'll see.

EXERCISE:

Well, as expected, my food guilt from last night turned into gym guilt this morning.

Today's routine:
-10 min. run
-15 min. incline training
-15 min. stair master
-20 min. elliptical

Made a few slight changes: started out with a 20% grade on the incline interval (versus my usual 18 or 19%) and also did a new course on the stair master. I usually do what's called the 'Fat Burner' on level 7, but today I tried the 'Fat Burner Plus' course and varied the levels between 6 and 8. It was tough, but I liked the change of pace.

Even though I was probably overdoing it by shooting for 800 calories, I didn't struggle to get through any of the intervals. My heart rate was up higher than usual most of the time, but I still felt good. Cleared my head a bit too, so overall it was a nice session.

===========================

Other than all of that, I'm just looking forward to relaxing with Biggest Loser tonight.

Quote for the day.

"It won't work if you don't."

-Jumoke Hill, ExerciseTV

Love it. Simple to remember and resonates in my mind pretty well.

Adventures in Parsnipping.

This morning, I tried a parsnip for the first time. I bought one a couple of weeks ago and decided it was time to bust into it before it went bad.

I peeled it and grated it. Tossed about 1/2 cup into a skillet with some cooking spray, garlic powder, onion powder, salt & pepper. I was going for kind of a hash-brown type of thing. I let it cook for a few minutes, then added some egg beaters and cooked it all through. Sprinkled a little bit of parmesan on top.

Sigh.

I wish I could say it was an awesome new food discovery, but it wasn't. To be honest, I gagged through every other bite. And I'm almost certain it was because I didn't cook the parsnip through properly. I think it's one of those things that needs enough cook time to tone down that... I dunno... Minty taste? Not sure if minty is the right word. It's not really bitter, but there's definitely a distinct flavor in there that could potentially be eliminated (or at least lessened) by proper roasting with oil or something. I still have about a cup and a half left to play around with. It wasn't the worst thing ever, it just wasn't the best choice to mix with eggs. There's still potential for me to love it, so I'll try something new over the next day or so.

FOOD:

breakfast:
egg beaters- 1
parsnip w/ parmesan- 1
crustless pumpkin pie- 1

snack:
apple- 1
vitatop- 1
carrot- 0
PB2- 1

lunch:
salad w/ dressing- 1
l.c. wrap- 1
turkey- 1
f.f. cheese- 1
broccoli slaw- 0

snack:
acorn squash- 2
pomegranate arils- 1

dinner:
Skillet Cassoulet (my version, sans breadcrumbs)- 5

post-dinner:
pumpkin & s.f. pudding- 2
frozen yogurt- 4
vitaop- 2
lean cuisine pizza- 7
almonds/dried cranberries- 4

total points used: 37/22
activity points: 23 min. lifting routine- 2
net points: 35
WAPs: -13/35 remaining

Weighed myself this morning and it would appear that I undid the damage from Friday's binge. I don't want to jinx anything, but I think if I stay on-track the next few days, I'll be in good shape at the next weigh-in.

I'm thinking of trying this Cassoulet recipe for dinner tonight. I got a sampler pack of different chicken sausages a couple of weeks ago, so I'm pretty sure there's at least a couple of varieties that would work well. Seems easy enough. Plus I have some leftover tomato paste in the fridge that I need to use up.

Lastly, I took the day off from work, hence no snacks or lunch planned as of yet.

EXERCISE:

Did some lifting.

Today's routine:
-5 min warm-up (jump rope, jumping jacks, butt kicks)
-4 sets squats, 12 reps (jump rope in between sets)
-4 sets, 12 bench presses (burpees in between sets)

I think at the next routine, I'll try some shoulder presses. Those squats are still killing me, which means I'm gonna keep doing them, haha.

My stomach is finally feeling normal again, which made getting motivated for the gym this morning a lot easier.

FOOD:

breakfast:
oatmeal w/ peaches- 2
protein powder- 1
crustless pumpkin pie- 1

lunch:
l.c. wrap- 1
turkey- 1
cheese- 1
tomato/broccoli slaw/peppers- 0
vitatop- 1

snack:
carrot- 0
PB2- 1
salad w/ dressing- .5
s.f. pudding (mix)- .5

dinner:
steak- 7
zucchini w/ olive oil- 1
mashed potatoes- 4

post-dinner:
fudge bar- 1
vitatop- 1
strawberries- 0

total points used: 24/22
activity points: 55 min. HIIT routine- 7
net points: 22
WAPs: 0/35 remaining

Doug is planning on grilling out today, so I'm pretty excited. The weather will be perfect for it too.

EXERCISE:

Another HIIT routine at the gym. Nothing too exciting to report.

Today's routine:
-5 min. warm-up run
-15 min. incline training
-5 min. run
-15 min. stair master
-5 min. rowing
-10 min. elliptical

Tomorrow I'm planning on doing some lifting.

Shut up and run.

I got a run in this afternoon afterall. I just couldn't let the day go by without sweating, especially after completely de-railing my diet yesterday. But by going outside and hitting the trail, I suppose I haven't completely de-railed yet, right?

It was one of the worst runs I've ever had, but a bad run is better than no run at all, I suppose.

I was still feeling heavy from all of the extra food in my stomach, so I had to push so much harder. My speed sucked. My heart rate monitor was acting up, so I finally just turned it off and had to estimate how many calories I burned. My shuffle clip kept falling off of my shirt, leaving me distracted. My stomach kept cramping up, which led to more walking breaks. And I was dehydrated.

But.

I pushed through. I pushed through because I have no other choice. I have a new goal that I want to reach and I have to push to reach it. I was tired of hearing all of the compromises and excuses going through my head while we were out running errands earlier. Finally, I realized that although I can move on from a bad night of eating, I can't move on from not moving. Unless I'm seriously injured or ill, I just can't make excuses for not sweating if the time and ability are both available.

And because of that, I feel so much better.

Progress with Progresso

Starting to feel better, finally. While doing chores the burning, tight sensation in my upper stomach wouldn't go away so now I'm wondering if I aggravated an ulcer. I've had stomach ulcers before, so the pain is pretty familiar by now. Not sure how I get them, but drinking and crap eating usually bring them to my attention. If that's the case, the puking makes sense too. I've never been much of a puker (even with lots of alcohol), but getting ulcers changed that.

Not 100% sure that an ulcer the case, but either way I decided to make some light Progresso soup and added as much cayenne pepper as I could stand and now I feel loads better. I know, contrary to popular belief, cayenne is awesome for treating mild (i.e., non-bleeding) ulcers, as well as stomach pain and heart burn in general.

Doug wants to go to Wal-Mart, so maybe walking around some more will do me some good.

FOOD:

breakfast:
saltines- 1

snack:
apple- 1

lunch:
2 c. soup- 3

snack:
dove bar- 4
beef jerky- 1

dinner:
broccoli slaw w/ 1 tbsp dressing- 1
potato- 2
f.f. shredded cheese- 1
light sour cream- 1
salsa- 0
l.c. wrap- 1
boca crumbles- 1
cheese single- 1
pickles- 0

total points used: 18/22
activity points: 40-ish min. run- 4.5
WAPs: 0/35 remaining

EXERCISE:

Still up in the air. Did some vacuuming and cleaned the bathrooms, but I didn't sweat, so it's not even worth counting at this point.

I sucked it up and went for a run outside on the trail.

Fail.

I am a jackass.

Last night, I ate all of my weekly allowance points. Yep, in one night. And as I've discovered this morning, I basically ate myself sick.

First of all, it's not the points I'm so upset about, it's what I spent them on that makes me mad. I didn't even spend them on something indulgent and awesome (like wings or good pizza)... I just spent them all on stuff around the house. I told myself I wasn't going to go somewhere and spend money on crap food, so instead I just ate a TON of "low-fat" and "healthy-ish" crap that was already available in our fridge, freezer and cupboards. It was so stupid. I drank some wine too, so that kinda kept the munching going.

Anywho. On the upside, I wrote stuff down as I gorged myself, so I was able to go back and accurately track everything on The Daily Plate this morning.

Speaking of this morning, it has sucked so far. I woke up early and thought "Ok Tam, just start some laundry, take things slow for an hour or so and then head to the gym." Well, I got the laundry started, feeling full and tired, but ok for the most part. Then I sat down to check my e-mail and that's when the heartburn kicked in and my stomach started rolling over on top of itself.

I limped to the bathroom, chugged some Alka-Seltzer (the heartburn kind) and a few minutes later, puked.

I wasn't mad at myself for eating so much last night, but I'm absolutely ashamed this morning for eating so much that my body literally couldn't handle it. What the hell is wrong with me? Who does that sort of thing? Ugh. I've never, ever (even back in my heavier days) ate myself to the point of puking. I'm feeling weak (both physically and emotionally) and confused (why didn't I stop eating sooner? why did my self-control just up and disappear?). I can't explain it. It wasn't an emotional binge... If anything, I've always been prone to boredom eating. And it was indeed a boring Friday night, sitting at home watching TV... But there's been loads of nights like that and I didn't eat myself sick on those nights... Who knows.

So, plan of action for today? Not sure yet. I'm going to continue my laundry, move on to some much needed housework and just take things slow. My first reaction was "I need to get my ass to the gym and burn 1,000 calories!" but I'm not so sure that heavy exercise is the best move right now. I'm feeling a little bit better after the puke, but still off overall. If I feel up to it later, I'll ride my stationary bike. Something low-impact that will be easy on my stomach. Tomorrow will be a big gym day for sure though.

As for food, ha! Of course nothing sounds good right now. I know it's never good to not eat as a means of making up for overeating the day before, but I can almost guarantee that I will be well below my daily points today. I'm sure there will be soup at some point today, but other than that, forget about it.

Weigh-in Day.

Today's weight: 153.8. A gain of 1.4 pounds. Hey, I'm totally cool with that. A person my size can't expect to maintain (or even add to) a 4 pound loss from the previous week. My body is trying to balance itself out and I get that. Although I used a little more allowance points than the previous week, all in all I did all of the right things this week. Good mix of fitness routines and lots of healthy foods (hell, I ate a whole acorn squash by myself last night alone). It's not like I ate tacos and drank beer all week, so there's no reason for me to be discouraged by this at all. And, hello? It's Friday! How can I not be in a good mood? I didn't even sleep particularly well last night, but I'm here and only 9 hours away from the weekend. Holla!

FOOD:

breakfast:
f.f. greek yogurt w/ blueberries- 2
crustless pumpkin pie- 1

snack:
vitatop- 1
apple- 1
carrot/cucumber- 0
hummus- 1

lunch:
healthy choice chicken/shrimp cafe steamer- 5

snack:
protein powder- 1
9 almonds- 1
tootsie rolls- 1
crustless pumpkin pie- 1

dinner:
acorn squash- 2
l.c. tortilla- 1
tuna- 2
f.f. shredded cheese- 1
salsa- 0

post-dinner:
s.f. pudding w/ PB2- 2
vitatop- 1
crustless pumpkin pie- 1
digiorno 200 flatbread- 5
cereal w/ almond milk- 5

more crap- 26

total points used: 61/22
activity points: Biggest Loser Boot Camp, all levels (3.5), jump rope (.5)- 4
net points: 57
WAPs: 0/35 remaining

So I made a crustless pumpkin pie yesterday. Not bad! Especially for only one point per slice! Definitely will be making it again, but next time, I think I'll add a full cup of Splenda (versus 2/3) and less pumpkin pie spice. It was just a little too much for my taste. Nice little amount of protein too, thanks to the egg beaters.

EXERCISE:

Did some BL Boot Camp. Used heavier weights during some of the moves and focused more on my form. Burned a decent amount of calories. By the time it was over, I was so close to 400 cals, I just jumped rope for a few minutes to even things out.

Not sure what I'll do tomorrow. Either hit the gym or do Jillian Michaels' Banish Fat/Boost Metabolism DVD.

Link time!

Got some new links to share this week!

Tony "The Anti-Jared" Posnanski

I've actually heard of "The Anti-Jared" before, so it's possible that some of you have too. I vaguely remember seeing a quick clip of his story on a news station months ago. I came across his blog this week and can't stop going back and reading his older posts.

Just inspirational, overall. He says a lot of good things that make sense, especially to people who are just regular Joes/Janes bettering themselves through healthier eating and exercise. I must warn that he HATES the Biggest Loser though, so be prepared for some BL hatin', ha. (And I totally understand why there are a lot of health-conscious folks out there who hate the show; I guess I just take a lot of what goes on with a grain of salt. I love seeing people transform themselves, plain and simple, so that's why I keep tuning in each week.)

Escape From Obesity

I found out about this blog from The Anti-Jared and fell in love instantly. Some of the posts tend to be a bit long, but they all end on such positive notes! Lyn is honest, funny and totally understands what she needs to do each day to reach her goal. I'm having a hard time thinking of other things to say, so just read some of her posts and get inspired!

Is 9 am too early for a nap?

FOOD:

breakfast:
f.f. cottage cheese w/ pumpkin- 2
kashi cereal- 1

snack:
9 almonds- 1
apple- 1
carrot/celery- 0
PB2- 1

lunch:
leftover tofu/broccoli/noodles/PB2 sauce- 7

snack:
lightfull smoothie- 1
crustless pumpkin pie- 1

dinner:
chicken- 2
low carb wrap- 1
wing sauce- 0
tomato- 0
f.f. ranch- 1
acorn squash- 2

post-dinner:
vitatop- 1
s.f. pudding- 2
blueberries- 0

total points used: 24/22
activity points: 40 min. HIIT routine- 5
net points: 22
WAPs: 9/35 remaining

I skipped out on quiz last night so I could go to the grocery store and pick up some canned pumpkin, acorn & spaghetti squash, all of which I've been craving like mad lately. Also wanted to try on my new clothes from Old Navy that got delivered. I love size Medium. Both average and awesome.

EXERCISE:

Oh man. I was soooo not motivated at all this morning. As I changed into my workout clothes, all I could think about was how incredibly sore my ass muscles were from squatting with the barbell yesterday. For about 2 seconds, I contemplated not going to the gym at all, but I was already up, so I finished getting ready and pushed through.

When I got to my machine, I didn't feel like running or incline training OR much of anything, so I had to talk myself into a compromise. I decided I would just do 5 minute intervals (instead of the usual 10-15) and I would burn no more than 500 calories. I was still essentially doing a tough workout, but I knew that shorter intervals and less machines meant the time would go by faster and it did.

Today's routine:
-25 min. running/incline training (alternated 5 min. intervals)
-15 min. elliptical

I forgot my lifting gloves, so rowing was out and there was no way I was going to tackle the stair master, thanks to my aforementioned sore ass. I just wanted to keep things relatively easy this morning. I survived, but I still could totally go home and fall asleep right now.

Still planning on doing Biggest Loser Boot Camp tomorrow.

Good Ol' Crazy Eyes.

So I laughed quite a bit at Biggest Loser last night. Couldn't help it- things got that ridiculous. And there are more people that I'm irritated with and ready to see go home. Liz, especially. Why that woman couldn't shut the fuck up that whole episode, I don't know. She kept saying she would kill herself at the gym and I kinda wished she had. And Dina really disappointed me with the whole "I can't jump on the platform!" nonsense. Ugh. People's reasons for doing things or not doing things on that show are so weak & misguided sometimes, it makes me stabby. But I guess that's the point of the show; to help people work through those issues and get stronger. Some of them will see through their own bullshit eventually. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have those same excuses back in the day. Anywho.

FOOD:

breakfast:
sun-dried tomato chicken sausage- 2
egg beaters- 1
spinach- 0

snack:
9 almonds- 1
apple- 1
carrot/cucumber- 0
hummus- 1

lunch:
ronzoni pasta- 3
tofu- 3
broccoli- 0
PB2 sauce- 1

snack:
lightfull smoothie- 1

dinner:
chicken- 2
low carb tortilla- 1
tomato- 0
wing sauce- 0
f.f. ranch- 1

post-dinner:
yoplait delight- 2
vitatop- 1
s.f. pudding- 1

total points used: 22/22
activity points: 23 min. weight lifting routine- 2
WAPs: 9/35 remaining

Quiz tonight, so I already have quick/easy dinner planned.

EXERCISE:

Lifting day!

Today's routine:
-5 min. warm-up (jump rope, jumping jacks, high knees, butt-kicks)
-4 sets of 12 squats (jump rope in between sets)
-4 sets of 12 bench presses (burpees in between sets)

Still at 30 lbs. I think it'll be a while before I can take on much more than that, haha.

Berries, Brawls and Biggest Loser

I just have to say that even though I tend to have the same mix of foods for breakfast everyday, I just do not get sick of some things. I can't imagine ever getting bored with the creaminess of greek yogurt, the sweetness of juicy, plump berries and the crunchiness of toasted oats and grains. This morning I just had to pause in between bites and think about how much I love good food. And when it's healthy for me as well, I can almost hear my body saying, "THANK YOU!"

FOOD:

breakfast:
f.f. greek yogurt w/ blueberries- 2
kashi cereal- 1

snack:
9 almonds- 1
apple- 1
carrot/celery- 0
PB2- 1

lunch:
low carb tortilla- 1
roast beef- 1
r.f. pepperjack- 1
2 c. soup- 4

snack:
protein water- 0
holey donut- 4

dinner:
ronzoni pasta- 3
tofu- 3
broccoli- 0
PB2- 1

total points used: 24/22
activity points: 45 min. HIIT routine- 6
net points: 22
WAPs: 9/35 remaining

Planning on throwing together a tofu dish tonight with some noodles, veggies and maybe a peanut sauce.

EXERCISE:

Pushed it pretty hard at the gym today. Like, when I was driving home, I felt beat the fuck up, as if I was just in a big brawl or something. But strangely enough, I kinda liked the feeling. Even though I was more exhausted than I had been in a while, underneath, I still felt strong. Probably because I knew I had just pushed myself out of my comfort zone and into a more challenging level of fitness.

As for what I did differently, I just took things up a notch in all of my intervals. For example, I ran at 7 mph for the majority of my run, I increased my resistance level on the elliptical, but lowered the incline a bit (which makes it harder because you're working with less range of motion) and I did the rowing machine for 10 minutes (doesn't sound like much, but since I did it last, it almost killed me). I swear, rowing has snuck up on me as probably the hardest interval in my routine right now. Even though you're sitting down, it still jacks your heart rate up.

I wanted to quit rowing after not even 5 minutes, but I dug a little deeper, reminded myself of why I woke up at 4:45 am in the first place and imagined Bob & Jillian from Biggest Loser in the gym with me, yelling at me to keep going. I know that last bit sounds incredibly silly (and maybe a bit psycho), but honestly, I do it all the time. They've become my fitness idols, so whenever I need a push during a workout, I imagine they're right beside me, telling me not to quit. Plus, it's Biggest Loser Tuesday, so I gotta get pumped for the new episode somehow!

Today's routine:
-10 min. warm up run
-15 min. incline training
-10 min. elliptical
-10 min. rowing

I need to remember to bring my lifting gloves next time I row; got a nice little blister on my hand today.

Grr.

This past weekend just didn't jive with me, in terms of self-control. I found myself wasting points and just not caring. And never again will I order Holey Donuts. That was the main issue. You'd think I'd have my will power in check by now, but not with those blasted things in the house. Overall, I just found myself bouncing back and forth between caring, not caring and giving in to emotional whims, which I haven't done in ages. And now the scale is up almost 5 pounds from Friday. Go me.

But, it's a new day and still early in the week. As always, there's never any point in dwelling on what I did wrong. Just need to look forward and get over it. I also need to keep in mind that since I had such a huge loss last week, that a gain is definitely possible this week. And while I can't necessarily avoid that, I can at least lessen the blow by staying focused from here on out.

FOOD:

breakfast:
chicken breakfast sausages- 2
kashi cereal w/ almond milk- 1

snack:
apple- 1
carrot/cucumber- 0
hummus- 1

lunch:
leftover meatball stew- 6

snack:
lightfull smoothie- 1

dinner:
chicken- 3
asparagus w/ olive oil- 1
baked fries- 3

post-dinner:
PB2 wrap- 2
1/2 holey donut (they're almost gone!)- 1
s.f. mousse- 1
strawberries- 0

total points used: 23/22
activity points: 55 min. HIIT routine- 7
net points: 22
WAPs: 9/35 remaining

Need to think of something for dinner that involves chicken and asparagus. Probably something simple... And maybe some sort of potatoes on the side.

EXERCISE:

The guilt from all of the sugar I ate last night set in and I decided I needed to torch some calories at the gym, instead of doing my usual Monday Biggest Loser Boot Camp routine. Not sure if I'll do Boot Camp tomorrow or push it off until later in the week. For now, the plan is gym again tomorrow, weight lift on Wednesday, gym on Thursday and then Boot Camp on Friday. I think that'll be a nice change of pace.

Anywho, today's routine:
-10 min. warm-up run
-15 min. incline training
-15 min stair master
-10 min. elliptical
-5 min. rowing

Sunday stew.

(***If you're new to the blog, feel free to read my introductory posts and my Not-so-secret-Secret to Weight Loss.)

FOOD:

breakfast:
oatmeal w/ berries & protein powder- 3
chicken breakfast sausages- 2

snack:
holey donut- 5

lunch:
chicken sausage- 2
spaghetti squash w/ spinach- 1
parmesan- 1

snack:
popcorn- 1
apple- 1
beef jerky- 1

dinner:
italian meatball stew- 6
wine- 2

post-dinner:
s.f. mousse w/ pumpkin- 2
ice cream- 3
holey donuts- 5

total points used: 35/22
activity points: 25 min. weight routine- 2
net points: 33
WAPs: 9/35 remaining

Planning on making some Italian Meatball Stew for dinner tonight. Love that stuff.

EXERCISE:

Did some lifting this morning.

Today's routine:
-5 min. warm-up (jump rope/jumping jacks/butt-kicks)
-4 sets of 12 squats, jump rope in between sets.
-4 sets of 15 deadlifts, burpees in between sets.

Still rocking the 30 lbs. It's still a good weight for squats, but it's a bit too light for deadlifts, so I'll have to plan ahead and adjust the weight beforehand, depending on what moves I want to do that day.

Fries, freezing rain and fitness.

(***If you're new to the blog, feel free to read my introductory posts and my Not-so-secret-Secret to Weight Loss.)

We went to a comedy club in Denver last night to see one of my favorite comedians (Jim Norton) and I shared a basket of fries with Doug. Sigh.

The drive home sucked too, thanks to freezing rain, fog and the feeling that I was coming down with a cold.

But, I prevailed this morning. After 5 hours of sleep, I slowly got ready for the gym. I was feeling sluggish since I hadn't worked out at all yesterday and needed to sweat things out. And I did! I feel so much better now. Still worried about getting sick though, especially since our housemate was complaining about a chest cold last night. Ugh.

FOOD:

breakfast:
egg beaters- 2
grilled tomato slices- 0
chicken sausage links- 2

lunch:
vegan burger- 1
1 slice bread- 1
strawberries- 0
2 c. soup- 4
holey donut- 4

snack:
apple- 1
popcorn ball- 1

dinner:
sundried-tomato chicken sausage- 2
spaghetti squash w/ parmesan- 2
diced tomato- 0

post-dinner:
s.f. mousse w/ pumpkin- 2
blueberries- 1

total points used: 23/22
activity points: 60 min. HIIT routine- 8
net points: 22
WAPs: 20/35 remaining

EXERCISE:

Since I hadn't done a HIIT routine since Tuesday, I was worried I would struggle to get through everything today, but I actually had some good bursts of energy, surprisingly.

Today's routine:
-10 min. warm-up/run
-15 min. incline training
-15 min. stair master
-12 min. elliptical
-8 min. rowing

Worked off some of that lingering soreness from yesterday, so I should be ready to weight lift tomorrow.

Weigh-in Day.

(***If you're new to the blog, feel free to read my introductory posts and my Not-so-secret-Secret to Weight Loss.)

Today's weight: 152.4. A loss of 4.2 pounds! I shit you not, folks. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but the 100-pound goal is back on!




As for what I did, all I can say is that I found a good balance of cardio and weight-training, along with eating a few extra points here and there. Just did my best to keep things balanced and consistent.

I almost have to laugh at this because I look back at this past summer and how long it took me to get out of the 160s. I was starting to think that my body had this pre-determined weight that it would not let me go under. Turns out I just needed to work out smarter and make a few changes to my diet (more fruits & veggies, less carb-y/processed snacks). Ta-da!

FOOD:

breakfast:
f.f. cottage cheese w/ pumpkin- 2
kashi cereal- 1

snack:
apple- 1
strawberries- 0
carrots- 0
PB2- 1

lunch:
smart ones teriyaki chicken- 4
10 almonds- 1.5

snack:
tootsie pop- 1
coffee w/ protein powder- .5

dinner:
wahoo's shrimp burrito- 9
holey donut- 4

post-dinner:
yoplait delight- 2
fries- 10 (?)

total points used: 37/22
activity points: day off
net points: 37
WAPs: 20/35 remaining

I'm expecting a variety pack of chicken sausages from Bilinski Sausages (damn you, Food Network!), so I'm planning on making some of those and knocking out the other spaghetti squash I got.

EXERCISE:

Taking the day off today. GASP!, I know. The majority of my upper body started feeling sore yesterday afternoon, but it was still that "nice" kind of sore at the time. This morning though, it was just plain painful, so I decided that weight lifting was out of the question today. My last day off from working out was September 16th, so I kinda deserve this one.

Sprouts & Sprinkles.

(***If you're new to the blog, feel free to read my introductory posts and my Not-so-secret-Secret to Weight Loss.)

So last night, I played around with brussels sprouts again. I sauteed them in a pan with oil, salt, pepper and dried cranberries. I saw a picture of them online yesterday with the cranberries and it looked good. And it actually was! The sweetness of the cranberries helps balance out some of the bitter aftertaste of the sprouts. Next time though, instead of trying to cook the cranberries with the sprouts in the pan, I'll microwave them separately with a little water first. They ended up kinda crunchy last night, heh.

Also, quick note about Holey Donuts: I've resisted trying these things because I didn't want to be that person who ordered doughnuts over the Internet. HOWEVER, last week they were having a pretty good sale where everything was half-off, so I used that as an excuse to try three of their sampler boxes.

They arrived yesterday. Oh. My. God. Granted, I haven't had a doughnut in like, 2 years, but I still thought they were awesome. The dough itself is a bit dry, which was to be expected since they cut out so much fat, but the toppings and fillings are pretty spot-on. My strategy for keeping them in the house longer is to only thaw out one box at a time and cut each one in half so Doug and I can both try each flavor. Probably won't order them again until they have another decent sale like that, so I gotta at least try and make them last longer than a week, haha.

FOOD:

pre-workout:
coffee w/ protein powder & almond milk- 1

breakfast:
f.f. cottage cheese w/ pumpkin- 2
kashi waffle- 1

snack:
apple- 1
9 almonds- 1
strawberries-0

lunch:
corn tortillas- 1
boca crumbles- 1
f.f. shredded cheese- 1
salsa- 0
yam- 2
holey donut chocolate crumb- 3

snack:
carrot- 0
PB2- 1

dinner:
salmon- 3
green beans w/ teriyaki sauce- 1

post-dinner:
holey donut- 5

total points used: 24/22
activity points: Jillian Michaels Banish/Boost DVD- 5
net points: 22
WAPs: 20/35 remaining

Not at work today, so I don't have any snacks or lunch planned as of yet.

Also, I had a heart attack yesterday while opening a can of tuna. Apparently, I accidentally grabbed like 4 cans of tuna packed in oil when I went shopping last week. Ugh. I panicked because I thought all 12 cans were packed in oil, but luckily it was only 4. Lesson learned! Double-check those babies because the labels are almost identical and stock people don't always put stuff where it should be. Grr.

EXERCISE:

I opted for Jillian Michaels' Banish Fat/Boost Metabolism DVD this morning instead of going to the gym. I like to go back and use this DVD every once in a while to see the change in my level of fitness. It was fun! My form has improved quite a bit and I added hand-weights to all of the punching moves for an extra challenge. Good sweat, good times.

Planning on doing free weights tomorrow at home. I saw an insanely awesome number on the scale this morning (which probably means I jinxed tomorrow's official weigh-in, heh), and the main thing I can attribute it to is weight-lifting. Why didn't I jump on this bandwagon sooner? I could have saved myself a lot of time and stress. Ah well.

Zzzz.

(***If you're new to the blog, feel free to read my introductory posts and my Not-so-secret-Secret to Weight Loss.)

Dinner last night was awesome. Cooked chicken breasts in a skillet with my favorite rotisserie seasoning, then tossed them in some buffalo wing sauce. Served with mashed cauliflower and grilled zucchini & tomatoes. Quick, healthy, filling and delicious. Yes, it IS possible.

FOOD:

breakfast:
f.f. cottage cheese w/ pumpkin- 2
kashi waffle- 1
coffee & 1/4 c. almond milk- 0

snack:
9 almonds- 1
apple- 1
carrots/cucumber- 0
hummus- 1

lunch:
healthy choice chicken pesto- 6

snack:
protein powder- 1

dinner:
tuna w/ 1 tbsp. BBQ sauce- 2
brussels sprouts w/ 1 tbsp. dried cranberries- 1
olive oil- 1
raspberry fudge holey donut- 5

total points used: 22/22
activity points: 20 min lifting routine- 1.5
WAPs: 20/35 remaining

Pumpkin and cottage cheese was awesome! Added some splenda and cinnamon. Super filling (especially with the waffle) and felt like I was starting the day with dessert. Mmm.

Going to quiz tonight, so I'm planning on just wingin' it for dinner. Plenty of frozen veggies, veggie burgers, canned beans, canned veggies and tuna for me to work with.

EXERCISE:

Did my first lifting session with the new set this morning. Barbell (which hardly weighs anything) plus 30 lbs.

Today's routine:
-5 min. warm-up (jump rope, jumping jacks, high knees, butt-kicks)
-1 set 12 squats, no barbell
-3 sets 12 squats, with barbell
-4 sets of 12 bench presses

Need to work on my form still, especially with the bench press. Seems easy enough, but I'm still getting used to my new bench and figuring out which adjustments to make for the best fit.

Started to do yoga afterward, but said "fuck this" after about 20 seconds into the warm-up. Since I haven't taken a whole day off from working out the past few weeks, I figured at the very least, I needed a "lazy" workout day where I kept things under 30 minutes. Yes, it's an excuse and yes I probably could have benefited from the yoga, but whatever.

Lastly, my guns are starting to look/feel loaded. I'm kinda falling in love with them now. Thank you, weight training! Haha.

===============================

Also did a body fat percentage measurement this morning. First week, I was at 20.9% (approximately). Second week, no change. Third week, I didn't bother measuring since I was on my period. This week: 19%. Not bad! I have noticed some visual changes the past couple of weeks, especially in my upper body, so I was hoping that would translate into an overall fat loss.

Brrr.

(***If you're new to the blog, feel free to read my introductory posts and my Not-so-secret-Secret to Weight Loss.)

Not ready for this cooler weather yet. Especially in the mornings, when I'm walking to work. Buh.

FOOD:

breakfast:
f.f. greek yogurt w/ blueberries- 2
1/2 c. kashi cereal- 1
coffee & 1/4 c. almond milk- 0

snack:
9 almonds- 1
apple- 1
carrots/celery- 0
hummus- 1

lunch:
healthy choice whiskey steak bowl- 5

snack:
lightfull smoothie- 1

dinner:
1.5 serving chicken breast- 4
wing sauce- 0
mashed cauliflower- 2
zucchini/tomatoes w/ olive oil- 1

post-dinner:
PB2 sandwich- 2
s.f. mousse w/ pumpkin- 2

total points used: 23/22
activity points: 45 min. HIIT routine- 6
net points: 22
WAPs: 20/35 remaining

Pulled out some chicken for dinner. I'm thinking either grilled or with shake 'n' bake, with mashed cauliflower and grilled zucchini on the side.

EXERCISE:

Another sweat session at the gym.

Today's routine:
-10 min. warm-up/run
-15 min. incline training
-10 min. rowing
-10 min. elliptical/cool-down

Tomorrow I'm planning on lifting. Bench-presses and squats with the barbell, most likely. Depending on how long I go for, I might also do some yoga afterward. Dunno yet.

(***If you're new to the blog, feel free to read my introductory posts and my Not-so-secret-Secret to Weight Loss.)

FOOD:

breakfast:
egg beaters- 1
spinach/tomato- 0
banana- 2

snack:
9 almonds- 1
apple- 1
carrot sticks- 0
PB2- 1

lunch:
leftover chili- 4
f.f. shredded cheese- 1
popcorn ball -1

snack:
cucumber/tomato salad- 0
lightfull smoothie- 1

dinner:
leftover chili- 4
f.f. shredded cheese- 1
corn tortillas- 1

post-dinner:
banana- 2
s.f. mousse- 1

total points used: 22/22
activity points: Biggest Loser Boot Camp, all levels- 3.5
WAPs: 20/35 remaining

I really need to get some more fat in before the day's over.

EXERCISE:

Another Monday of BL Boot Camp. Got to try out one of my new resistance bands and I like it a lot better than my other one. Much easier to handle and adjust for when I want to add more resistance.

The new weight bench is set up! So excited. And also debating whether or not I should go to the gym tomorrow for cardio or stay at home and lift. Decisions, decisions.

Pump up the jams.

So, while the boyfriend is putting together my weight bench (I'm on-call if he needs help, heh), I thought I'd share my workout playlist (sorted by artist). And for some reason, the images aren't displaying in full. It looks fine in Google Reader though, FYI:

I should probably make more of a regular effort to mix in more artists, but I have so much damn music in my main collection that I'm just too lazy some of the time.

I sometimes forget how important music is during a workout. It really is like fuel for me. The handful of times I've forgotten my shuffle at home were some of the worst workouts I've had.

(***If you're new to the blog, feel free to read my introductory posts and my Not-so-secret-Secret to Weight Loss.)

FOOD:

breakfast:
egg beaters- 1
bell pepper/salsa- 0
yam- 3

lunch:
6" Subway Buffalo Chicken- 7

snack:
1/2 banana- 1
PB2- 1

dinner:
beef/pinto bean chili- 4
f.f. shredded cheese- 1

post-dinner:
cookie- 2.5
chips- .5
2 s.f. jello mousse cups- 3

total points used: 24/22
activity points: 20 min. shoulder presses/burpees- 2
net points: 22
WAPs: 20/35 remaining

Planning on making a pot of chili tonight for dinner and possibly trying the new Buffalo Chicken Sub from Subway for lunch. We'll see.

EXERCISE:

Still didn't get the weight set put together (it will get done before tomorrow!), so instead of doing deadlifts and burpees, I did some shoulder presses with my dumbbells and burpees. Deadlifts are best done with a bar, so I decided to substitute that with something that could be better done with dumbbells. Burpees still killed me, as usual.

Today's routine:
-10 presses
-20 burpees
-repeated 5 times

And my lifting gloves stained my hands. Awesome.

Friday night sweets and Saturday morning sweats.

(***If you're new to the blog, feel free to read my introductory posts and my Not-so-secret-Secret to Weight Loss.)

Enjoyed my Tres Leches cake last night. Man, oh man. It's enjoying things like that that make me glad I plan ahead and wait. Waiting for a planned splurge makes it taste even better, somehow. And makes me feel zero guilt, which I used to have trouble with before, especially with random unplanned binges. These days, I just choose to have a better attitude and not be so hard on myself. Turns out, doing so makes me feel pretty awesome (and the scale results lately have been rad too).

FOOD:

breakfast:
oatmeal- 2
blueberries/protein powder- 1
1/2 banana- 1

lunch:
cucumber/radishes- 0
sesame dressing- 1
boca vegan burger- 1
hummus- 1
r.f. pepperjack- 1

snack:
apple- 1
chips- 2
salsa- 0

dinner:
brown rice- 3
shrimp- 2
aspargus/carrot/onion/teriyaki sauce- 1
olive oil- 1

post-dinner:
cookies- 5

total points used: 23/22
activity points: 60 min. HIIT routine- 7
net points: 22
WAPs: 20/35

EXERCISE:

Although I wasn't terribly guilty about the insane cake/sweet splurge from last night, I still figured it would be in my best interest to try and clear some of that sugar out of my system and headed to the gym. I added rowing into my routine today and it felt good. And high-intensity! I was so excited to be working my arms like that and keeping my heart rate up at the same time. Nice change of pace.

I also played around with an inclined run as well. Nothing extreme, but I'd like to be able to run somewhere between a 6 and 9% grade eventually. The settings I used today were definitely challenging. Felt good to push myself and not die, haha.

Today's routine:
-5 min. warm-up run
-15 min. incline training (18-20% grade, 3mph)
-10 min. run (4% grade, 6mph)
-15 min. rowing
-15 min. elliptical/cool-down

Treated myself to a few minutes in the sauna afterward. I swear, I could sit in that thing for hours, so it's hard to force myself to leave.

Ok. Time to get motivated and start reorganizing my workout room so we can finally get going on putting the weight set together. I'll be so pissed at myself if everything's still in boxes come Monday.